It Was A Hard Day (Nathan)

That title is an understatement, but no other words come to mind right now. Well, there are other words, but none that are appropriate for me to write or you to read! We knew that when we decided to adopt older children that it was going to be messy, difficult, and challenging. However, we were not prepared for what happened at our court appointment. In reality, no one was prepared for what happened.

Yesterday was our scheduled court hearing in which the judge would declare our adoption final. A 30-minute court hearing turned into a 4-hour court appointment. While I cannot go into details, the judge deemed that one of our girls was not ready to continue the adoption process. Instead, she has suspended the hearing for two weeks so that our daughter can receive necessary help before continuing the process.

To date, it was the most difficult day on this adoption journey. However, we know that God is in control and that His hands are in this process. We are thankful that everyone involved (judge, lawyers, and social workers) is working diligently for the good of all parties involved. Your continued thoughts and prayers would be much appreciated for our family here in Costa Rica as well as our family in the States. These next two weeks will be challenging, yet necessary. 

A Slow & Steady Transition (Nathan)

On the way to meet the girls!

Minutes before meeting the girls!

 It was a major first step with her new family. I cannot imagine the girl we met three weeks ago, doing what she did yesterday. Since attending church is a central part of our lives, we wanted to make sure we went as often as possible while in Costa Rica. On just her second visit, "D" was invited to go to Sunday School by an older girl. To our surprise, she said "yes." After Kayla's and Aubry's experience, we knew that she would be subjected to a lot of questions in front of peers.

It is important for you to know that this is the same girl who is extremely shy. I don't think she said more than five words on our first Skype call and our meeting day was not much better. For "D" to stand up in front of a group of strangers to talk about herself and answer questions was a HUGE accomplishment.

The girls are opening up to us more each day. It has been amazing to see the transformation take place. We have had multiple people tell us how much the girls have improved. "D" and "E" have shown us that, over time, they are willing to put in the effort to make the necessary adjustments as they face this new life.

During these past few weeks, we have been able to prepare the girls for life in Indiana. We have talked about the climate change (Boo!), language, school, work, church, friends, and family. (Last night we had to ease their fear of being swept away by a tornado, because they were told tornadoes are frequent in the US.) Just as they are warming up to us, they are also warming up to who and what is waiting for them in Indiana. So how will we handle the transition? This will, in large part, depend on how the girls make the adjustment when we return.

We will take a "slow and steady" approach in the beginning, which will be a big adjustment for us! We will need to limit interaction with family members and friends for the first few weeks while the girls adjust to life in their new home. We know that all of you are eager to meet the girls, but for their sake introductions will need to be slow.

Please don't take it personally if we do not attend your event, accept your invitation, or invite you to our house for some time after we return. The first few months will be dictated by how the girls are adjusting. Everything will be new to them: culture, family, language, weather, people, friends, church, community, school, etc. We are so thankful for the adjustment time we have with them here in Costa Rica, but we know there are many more changes to come!

With your support of family and friends, our girls will do well in their transition. Thank you for praying, helping, and thinking about us throughout this process!

Laundry Day The Costa Rican Way! (Video)

Want to do your laundry in a pila? I didn't think so.

Getting to know our Ticas. (Nathan)

"E's"" scorecard" from the last two days.

It's been 2.5 weeks since we met our girls. While there is still so much to learn about, and from, one another we are getting to know each other very quickly.

I wish I could share a few pictures of the girls, however, we cannot post pics until our court date, which is in exactly one week. (Yeah!!!!!) Instead of showing you a picture I want to describe each of the girls by their personality, character, and charm.

First is "D." She is twelve years old and very shy when you first meet her. I remember our first Skype call when I could count on one hand the number of words she spoke. Likewise, our first meeting day was filled with blank stares, shy smiles, and a quiet demeanor. Fast forward 2.5 weeks, and she has exploded out of her cocoon. "D" has one of the most beautiful smiles that I have ever seen. Her smile can light up a room and can turn around a sour mood in no time.

Each day we see more and more of her personality come out. In just the past few days, she has begun to initiate conversations. Whereas before, she would only speak to us if we started the conversation. Initially, she would talk through her younger sister, "E" by whispering words that would be meant for us. While she still does this from time to time, she is quickly learning that she can, and should, come directly to us.

Where do I begin with "E?" She is a bundle of joy and orneriness wrapped up into one little human. It is important to know where she is at all times. Otherwise, she will sneak up on you and scare you. However, I am getting used to her tactical strategy and can ward off any attacks.

Soon after Kayla and Aubry left for the States, "E" began doing this "whining" thing when she wanted something, didn't get what she wanted, or just felt like it. We knew that we were going to have to nip it in the butt immediately. So we came up with a "three strikes" rule. If she whined three times then she was not able to watch television the rest of the day. If she whined three more times, then she couldn't play games on our phones. The first day ended with no television watching, but the second day she didn't get one strike!

After a rough start in life and five years in an orphanage, both "D" and "E" have experienced many things that children should not have to go through. Despite those negative experiences, they are precious girls with big hearts and lots of room to love and be loved. As they continue to trust us and feel safe around our family, we will no doubt get to see more of the personality and uniqueness shine.

(Tico and Tica are terms used for Costa Ricans. You can read more about them here.)

Thinking of home... (Stacy)

Last picture as a family of five. 

When we found out the adoption process in Costa Rica includes a lengthy in-country stay, I thought, "Costa Rica for 6 weeks?! BONUS!!" And today, 3 weeks in, I'm ready to pack us all up and head home!

As much as I love to travel and experience other cultures, there truly is no place like home...especially when 3/7 of our crew is there. (I miss you, Dylan, Kayla, and Aubry!) Among lots of other things, we've missed Kayla's first High School Banquet (aka Prom), and on a much more heart-wrenching note, the passing of my dearly loved grandmother. We have so much joy over bringing D and E into our family, and yet there is also stress over language barriers and figuring out how to meet the needs (immediate and long-term) of these precious girls. Don't misunderstand me, D and E are SO WORTH THE EFFORT, and we feel incredibly blessed to be on this journey with them. I'm just ready to get us all settled in at home!

And yet, I know this time in Costa Rica is vitally important - for the girls to bond with us on their home turf and for us to bond with them as we become familiar with their culture. I have not heard of many countries with an adoption process like Costa Rica's. Upon arrival in country, PANI (Costa Rica's children's social service agency) requires adoptive parents to have several days of daytime visitation with the child/children. If all goes well during this visitation time, adoptive parents take custody in-country for 3-4 weeks.

We've been in the custody phase for almost 2 weeks, and overall it has gone really well. We've all moved on from the awkwardness of living with people we hardly know, to lots of goofiness, laughter, prayers, language study, meal times, pool time, and long walks together. E is compassionate and full of energy. She loves to give hugs/kisses, hold hands, be goofy, and talk a lot...and if we can't figure out what she's saying, she finds a way to reword things until we understand! D is more reserved, but has an incredible smile that she displays often, a great laugh, and a big heart! She is a typical pre-teen...loves using the tablet and watching TV...but she's always willing to help with whatever we ask her to, and she is a great big sister to E. She's also been good about helping us with Spanish language study as we are helping her with English.

These girls are beautiful, strong, and just overall amazing, and while I cannot wait to get them settled in at home, I'm so thankful we are bonding with them AND with their culture during this time. Of course, prayers for this momma's divided heart are still greatly appreciated. ;)

**Special shout-out to the family members and friends who are blessing us through prayer, caring for our stateside kiddos, financial support, and filling in all the vacancies we've left during this time. I'm seriously getting choked up thinking about how you all are filling in the gaps for us. So thankful for you all and for a God who works out even the tiny details!!**

Eph 3:20 "Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." AMEN!!

We love you, GG, and we are so glad you are rejoicing with the Lord!

Gus (our Pug) is excited to see the girls!

Our girls, Kayla, and Aubry returned last Friday from Costa Rica. Anticipating an excited Gus, they videotaped their reunion. He did not disappoint!

Coffee Farm & La Paz Waterfall Gardens (Aubry)

Templo Waterfall

Last Tuesday, we got to do something I have been waiting to do every since we arrived in Costa Rica. We went to the La Paz Waterfalls, Rainforests, and Wildlife Sanctuary! We started off the day going to a coffee farm with a beautiful background of San Jose from the mountain top. We then headed to La Paz. At the beginning of the tour, we went through all the animal exhibits. We started at the bird exhibit, where we got to hold a toucan! Then, we headed to the butterfly sanctuary, which was such a cool experience! We walked into this huge green room filled with butterflies, flying all around! I may have gotten scared sometimes, because I'm not a huge fan of things flying in my face, but it was cool! Most of the butterflies were bright blue and would land right on my back or arm. There was a lot of really unique looking ones too! After the butterflies, we went to the frogs. They weren't my favorite, but some of them were cool. This next exhibit was, of course, my absolute favorite! THE MONKEYS!! I felt so bad for these monkeys. They were locked up in a small cage. It broke my heart. :(

We sadly left the monkeys and saw a few hummingbirds, which was really neat! Next was my second most favorite - the jungle cats. The first cat was very pretty! It came right up to the fence too. It started to try to bat at our hands, so we stepped back a little bit, but I just wanted to take a selfie with this super cool cat! So, I attempted to take a selfie, but as I turned my back my braided hair was hanging in front of the fence and the cat batted at it! It almost got my hair! Of course, dad saw it eyeing my hair and yelled right as the cat attempted to get it! Good thing, otherwise I would have had to get a new hair cut!! The other cats were cool too, while we were walking up to the jaguars, the mom jaguar was right in front of the glass checking out all of the people. And of course, since there was glass in between the cat and me, this time, I took a selfie with it. After the cats we took a picture with a couple weird-looking bulls and walked through a really old look-alike house.

Next, were the waterfalls. Theiy were so cool! From the beautiful greenery surrounding the water pouring off the side of a huge cliff, it was truly amazing! I could never get used to seeing those waterfalls. We got to down by the river that followed one of the waterfalls, also. Which i thought was an even more beautiful sight!

This was probably one of my most fsvoritr days in Costa Rica because we got to experience so much of God's wonderful creation! I'm always blown away at truly how awesome He is and His amazing creation!

Aubry with Toucan Sam!

Selfie with Jaguar

Hasta Luego a Mi Familia y Costa Rica (Kayla)

Kayla and Aubry going through security. 

Aubry and I are leaving today to go back to the states. This trip has been absolutely amazing, and better than I could have ever imagined. Bonding with our new sisters has gone well, but it makes it that much harder to leave. My parents and the ticas will be here until May, so we won't get to see them for another few weeks. At the same time, I am so thankful to have been able to come to Costa Rica for as long as I did (17 days). I have met so many wonderful people and have made many unforgettable memories.

It will be hard going back to "real life," especially without taking the whole family with me. I think I speak for all of us when I say that I just want everyone to be home in Indiana and begin this new chapter of our lives. I know God has led us exactly where He wants us to be. The girls couldn't fit more perfectly into our family, and I love everything about them. We have already been able to experience so many firsts with them such as using an automatic sink, going to the mall, and ordering at Subway. These things that seem so small to us are new and very exciting for them. We quickly got past the awkward stage of not knowing how to make conversation, and now tease with each other, laugh with each other, and say how much we love each other.

I am truly so thankful for this family of mine that God has pieced together so perfectly. Of course, along the way there were times that I doubted it was going the way it was "supposed to go," but of course, God had it all in His hands and planned out every detail of the big picture.

Trip to the Beach! (Nathan)

The girls on "Sibling Day." From left: "E," Aubry, "D," and Kayla.

Sorry for the lack of posts during these last few days. Much has happened since our last post. Dylan arrived on Thursday afternoon, which marked the first time we were together as a family of seven. First thing Friday we left for an overnight stay at Punta Leona. Along the way, we stopped for breakfast and to see some crocs, which helped to break up the trips.

One of the things we have noticed, right away, is that the girls are not used to long car rides. Both girls have felt queasy on long trips at different times. Not sure what we are going to do on our 14-hour drive to North Carolina this summer!

We have now been together for over a week, and the girls are doing great. Each day has been an improvement from the previous in regards to how the girls are settling in. We are getting past the "awkward" stage as we are becoming better acquainted with one another. We are enjoying the many "firsts" together as a family. There will be even more once we arrive home.

Yesterday, we said "goodbye" to Julia and Poncho, and settled into our new "Casa" for the next three weeks. While we will miss their generous hospitality and Julia's cooking, it will be good to have our a place of our own and to establish a daily routine. Fortunately, for us, Julia invited us to her house for lunch on Sundays.

Tomorrow we will take another long trip to see waterfalls, rescued animals, and a coffee farm.  On Wednesday, we will have our first consulate appointment at the U.S. Embassy. Then Thursday morning we say goodbye to Kayla and Aubry. Our scheduled court date is April 27th. At this time, the adoption is finalized, and we can share names and pictures with all of you. Afterward, it will take approximately two weeks to finish the paperwork (passports, visas, etc.) before we can travel back to the States.

Croc watch!

I spy with my little eye a monkey.

Aubry enjoying the pool at Punta Leona. 

Sunset at the beach. 

They are all around the pool waiting for leftovers!

Six Weeks In Costa Rica (Nathan)

Stacy and I are truly blessed to be employed by organizations that support our adoption journey. It is reassuring to know that your employer "has your back" and is understanding. We had mixed emotions when we first heard that we would have to spend a minimum of 5-6 weeks in Costa Rica. On one hand, who wouldn't want to spend a month, or more, in Costa Rica? On the other hand, it is a long time to be away from family, work, and life, in general. Besides, what were we going to do for that amount of time?

Now that we have been with D and E for a few days, I know why we need to spend this amount of time in Costa Rica. Our Ticos have lived in their orphanage for over five years. During those five years, other than going to school, they rarely left the complex; traveling to a supermarket or mall only once or twice a year. It has been very overwhelming for them to meet their new family, going out to eat, and shopping for new clothes; all in their own culture. I can't imagine the girls traveling to, and living in the United States after one or two weeks of meeting their new family.

Over the next month, we will be going to many different appointments, such as the U.S Embassy, immigration office, courts, etc. In between these appointments we will have opportunities to visit some cool Costa Rican sites, activities with the girls, and begin teaching them English. Our hope is that most of the bonding will take place in Costa Rica so that we can help them navigate through the transition of coming home.

The bonding and attachment process is something we will write about in later posts. It is very important for adopted children to bond with their parents. Most children, living in an orphanage, have issues bonding to just one person. While living in an institution they have caretakers coming in and out of their lives every day. After these children are adopted they don't have any problems going up to a stranger when seeking comfort.

The next five weeks will be long, yet critical for the strong familial bonding that needs to take place. We love our girls so much and cannot wait to get custody of them, beginning today. This does not mean that they are officially adopted, but only that we do not have to take them back to the orphanage in the evenings. Once we have officially adopted the girls we can post pictures of them and our activities on our Facebook page.

We Had Our Meeting Day!! (Stacy)

This photo was taken at PANI. 

Where do I even begin?! As the title of this post states, today was meeting day...our first time meeting D and E in person! We've Skyped a few times, but nothing compares to a face-to-face meeting. Of course, they were even more beautiful in person! :) Nathan, Kayla, Aubry and I had all kinds of emotions as we waited for them to appear in the room where we were waiting at the orphanage - excitement, nervousness, joy, anticipation, anxiety, impatience, eagerness - it was all there!

As we waited, we said a quick prayer - something along the lines of, "Lord, please prepare our hearts and theirs!" - and within a few minutes they were rounding the corner, entering the room. Nervous smiles on their faces, nervous smiles and tears of joy on our faces, warm hugs and hellos, a few awkward moments of near silence, more nervous smiles, and then we all piled into a van and went to eat! The desire for good food is something most people can relate to. :)

We found that as the 6 of us sat at the table, even with the language barrier (we speak a little Spanish and they speak a very little bit of English), it was easy to have some good conversation about food, colors, tricks with straws, Barbies, music, school supplies, and shoes. :) After lunch, we walked around the mall for a bit, and D and E took it all in. We're told that in the time they have been in the orphanage (5 years), they have only ever been outside their little community at Christmastime, so I'm sure there is a lot they have yet to see. While it's hard for me to think about them being without a family for so long, I can't wait to have all kinds of "firsts" with them!

We were so very blessed by our meeting today. Thankfully, we were given the opportunity to hire an awesome videographer to capture all theses special moments. She met with each of us (including D and E) beforehand and asked how we were feeling, what we were thinking, etc. She'll also be coming to the airport with the 6 of us to pick Dylan up and to capture his reaction and our first moments together as a family of 7!

We owe big thanks to Yolanda, Rebeca, Maria, Sarah, and Victor for a great first day!

Seriously, my heart is so full!!

Meeting with the PANI social worker. 

Meeting, at the orphanage, with "D" and "E"'s caretakers. 

Our Costa Rican Church Experience (Aubry)

Worship service at Centro Christiana Esperanza Viva

Yesterday we had the awesome opportunity to go to a Spanish-speaking church. This wasn't our first time attending a Spanish-speaking church. We have also attended one in Alabama and one in Guatemala, but attending this church was an incredible experience. From the moment we walked into the church parking lot, we were welcomed. As we were walking up to the church, walking in, and finding our seats, everyone was full of smiles, and they were all talking and laughing with each other, it was a contagious happiness that filled the church.

The service started out with worship, just like most services. This worship was a little different than what I'm used to, though. The music was a very upbeat, with a pop kind of feel to it. Girls, from the dance team, were dancing in front of and on the stage waving flags. The people on and off the stage were jumping up and down praising the Lord, focusing on God.

After worship we had communion, and then the kids went off to our separate rooms. At first, Kayla and I didn't get up to leave because I was a little frightened to leave my parents, but after the youth pastor, Armando, asked us if we wanted to go with them, Kayla made me go. While we were walking in they were already introducing other guests from Columbia. As the youth group was asking them questions, I was kind of praying that we wouldn't have to be introduced like that because I don't know much Spanish. After they had been done, Armando asked if we wanted to go up there and of course, Kayla, being the go-getter that she is, agreed. Lucky for us, though, there were a few people who knew enough English to translate so I didn't have to make a fool out of myself. After they had asked us questions about ourselves, they all stood up to come welcome us (I have never been kissed on the cheek so many times in my life). It was different from any other youth group I've been to. The students did most of the leading. I have always seen the adults preach to the students, but from what I saw the students preach to the students. Which I thought was really neat!

Costa Rican Hospitality (Kayla)

Julia, Pancho, Kayla, and Aubry

Meet our friend, Julia. Before our family came to Costa Rica, we were strangers to her, but that changed very quickly. Julia is the step-mom to one of my family's good friends, so he set it up for us to stay with her for our first two weeks here in Costa Rica. Julia lives in San Jose with her father, who is 94 years old, and has two sisters that live close by. Julia has gone above and beyond to make our experience wonderful. She cooks us breakfast, lunch, and dinner, provides us with rooms in her home, and looks after us like we're her own children. She has a heart of gold, and only ever wants the best for us.

Another important thing to know about Julia is that she only speaks Spanish. This was challenging and a bit awkward at first, as we didn't know quite what to say other than "gracias." However, we took this as an opportunity to challenge ourselves in learning more Spanish as we wait for my new sisters come to stay with us. There are times when it would be easier to talk to Julia only about the necessities, but as our family pools together different Spanish words to make a complete conversation, we have gotten to know her very well and have even shared a few laughs. I count it as a huge blessing to know Julia and Pancho. 

Breakfast: Pancakes, sausage, and peaches.

Lunch: Beef steak, beans, rice, and salad.

Dinner: Alfredo pasta and biscuits.

The day I told the taxi driver, "I love you." (Nathan)

It was our third day in Costa Rica, and we just finished shopping for groceries. As I had done a few times already, I hailed the taxi and asked him to take us to Patarrá. He nodded and so we piled into the car. However, he didn't quite understand what I said. So I looked him right in the eye and, in Spanish, stated, "I love you." And since he was giving me the "deer in the headlights look" I surmised that he didn't hear me, so I said, with more affection, and again in Spanish, "you are my love." It was at this point when Stacy, our primary translator, had finally gotten in her seat. So you can imagine her astonishment when she heard her husband communicate his affection to the taxi driver.

I'm sure you are wondering what it was I thought I said. Let me assure you that I am still trying to figure that out. I don't know what it is like for everyone else, but when put on the spot I have all these Spanish words running through my mind. Whatever word, or phrase, the needle is pointing to is what comes out of my mouth. Sometimes, it makes perfect sense and other times well; you get the picture.

Learning a new language is hard, but when adopting children from a different culture, it is necessary. One of the decisions we made early on in our adoption journey is that we want our girls to continue to speak their native language. We believe it is important that they never lose sight of who they are and where they are from. Keeping their native language is essential to who they are and who God created them to be. As they transition back into our home and North American culture, it is important that they can communicate with each other, us, and to God in their native language. Therefore, it is important that we learn their language just as much as they learn our language. We feel that this will create a unique bridge that will draw us closer together.

One is quickly humbled when learning a new language, i.e. my taxi story. However,  it is important to put yourself out there regardless of how silly or embarrassing it might be. I hope my new daughters understand this while they are learning English. Too many people are scared to try something new because they will mess up.

So when we bring "D" and "E" home, encourage them to speak in English. Offer them praise for doing something so brave. A few times on our Skype calls that have already shared several phrases in English. The fact that they are already trying brings tears to our eyes.

Check out Duolingo if you would like to learn a new language. It is free and can be downloaded on your mobile device or used in your web browser.

Two Years In The Making (Nathan)

Stacy and I attended The CAFO Summit in 2014.

It was exactly two years ago this week when Stacy and I decided to adopt. Our family was in Guatemala on a mission's trip, and our team decided to spend the last few days, relaxing, at a beach. Both Stacy and I had been asked numerous times if we were ever going to adopt, while Stacy was open to the idea, I was not. I thought my reasons for not adopting were valid such as it cost too much and we can't afford to support another person. Also, I had grandiose dreams and visions of becoming early empty nesters. In hindsight, my reasons now seem selfish and immature.

After saying "yes" to adoption, it took another six weeks before we decided the country we would adopt from and the agency we were going to adopt through. These are critical decisions to make and will determine how long the process will take. We decided to stay away from Africa and Eastern Europe as the adoption process was slow, unpredictable, and in some places corrupt.

At one point we thought we would adopt from Haiti, but in the end, we chose Costa Rica. Our family loves the Latino culture. We have traveled to Guatemala (all five of us), Mexico (Stacy), and the Dominican Republic (Nathan) over the past few years. Latinos possess strong familial relationships and assume the responsibility to take care of one another. These are traits that are also important to our family.

As we continued the process, there were other important decisions to make. Would we adopt children with known physical or mental disabilities? Would we adopt older children? Would we adopt a sibling group? Would we adopt a boy or a girl? We made each decision after much prayer and deliberation. After all, these decisions were life-altering choices for us and the child(ren) we would bring into our family.

In the end, we chose to adopt two sisters, "D" (12) and "E" (8). Some of the decisions we intentionally made were to adopt an older sibling group of girls. In a later post, I will share why we made these decisions.

In three days, we will meet our daughters, in person, for the first time. We have been able to speak with them, via Skype, on three different occasions. Each time the conversations are longer and filled with greater anticipation of when we can meet face to face.

These last two years have been filled with many ups and downs, hurry up and slow down, tears of joy, and angst. Each day that passed meant that we were closer to meeting our daughters, but also represented another day that our family was incomplete.

We cannot wait to share our daughters with you! They are precious and very beautiful. We are not allowed to post any pictures until the final court date when they officially become a Tatman! Until then we will continue to update you on our journey and stay in Costa Rica.

Are you thinking about adopting? Here are some great resources to help get you started:

• Loving Shepherd Ministries' Assessment Form will help you identify which countries you are eligible to adopt from. 
• The CAFO Summit is an annual conference filled with all things in the world of orphan care. Stacy and I discovered our agency and country at this conference in 2014. 
• Lifeline Children's Services is the adoption agency we decided to use. We would highly recommend them to any family thinking about adoption. 
• There are many children in Indiana's foster system who are waiting to be adopted. 
• Gateway Woods completed our home study.