New Family Web

We have created a new family website called, “Our Spanglish Life.” Click on the link to follow our adoption story and spanglish adventures!

It's Our One Year Anniversary!!

One year ago on this date, April 4, our lives changed forever! We met our new daughters, in person, for the first time. For two years we waited for this day to happen. Stacy and I are so proud of our kids. They've made sacrifices and adjustments, accepted losses and gains, and together we have grown closer as a family.

We hired a videographer to film and take pictures of our experiences in those first few days we were together. You are welcome to watch this 13-minute video and celebrate today with our family!

The Brady Bunch Effect: Meshing Cultures

With our children, both bios and adopted, we share a common desire - a complete family. Daleska and Emily wanted new parents, siblings, and all that comes along with being a part of a healthy, normal family. The other five of us wanted new daughters/siblings with whom to share life.

The journey towards becoming a typical family has had, and will continue to have, bumps along the way. With our patience tested on a daily basis, it is with a broader perspective that we will make this new family work. I call our "new normal" the Brady Bunch Effect.

Popular throughout the 70's and 80's, the Brady Bunch was centered around two families becoming one. As the family members began their new lives together, they were faced with learning and adjusting to each parts' past family culture. The rules, comfort, and stability of "what used to be" no longer existed. This is what we are currently experiencing.

Through our adoption, we are merging two distinctly different cultures - Latin American institutional culture with Midwest North American family culture. Daleska and Emily have spent the last 5-6 years in an orphanage. They have had to learn independence and survival instincts and have guarded themselves emotionally and otherwise. The rest of us (Nathan, Stacy, Dylan, Kayla, and Aubry) have created a close-knit family based upon love, acceptance, trust, and vulnerability.

Merging these two cultures will take time and the first step is building trust. With biological children, trust with parents begins to develop immediately at birth, so we've got to make up some time. Our stay in Costa Rica has been invaluable as it has allowed us to focus solely on the girls and their needs without the distractions of life back in Indiana. Through the course of daily interactions and activities we have spent precious time together - swimming, playing games, sight-seeing, shopping, and having bedtime conversations. All trust-builders.

During this time, we have also learned not to take words or behaviors personally. When tempers rise, we don't react as we would with our bio children, with whom we have built years of trust. Every action we take needs to be accompanied with patience and gentleness, as right now the end goal is winning trust points, not necessarily correcting behavior. Ultimately, we have learned to celebrate the wins, of which there have been many, and to count them as baby steps in the process.

In the last nine weeks, we have already seen so much improvement in the adjustment process. Both girls are gaining a level of comfort around us as we learn likes and dislikes, work through language barriers and listen to one another's stories.

On Friday, we travel home to join the rest of our family. As the Brady Bunch Effect continues to set in, more adjustments will shape our everyday lives. And together, the seven of us will work towards becoming a "new normal" family!

What's Next?

Many have been asking what happens next in our adoption process. Our adoption was finalized by the judge's decree a week and a half ago. This means that the adoption has been finalized, but we cannot leave the country. Here is a video update on what needs to happen before we can come home.

Costa Rica Travel Tips: Transportation

After living in Costa Rica for two months, we have found some helpful tools and tips. While I (Nathan) will be sharing about our time in Costa Rica, many of these tips can be used in other countries. (My last Travel Tip post was about Money.)

Every country has it’s own nuisances when it comes to transportation. Unless you have made prior visits, it takes a few days, or weeks, to figure it out. Most large cities in Europe use the metro. In Central America, it is the bus system or taxis. However, we have found an alternative in Costa Rica - Uber! Below are my rankings of the top four modes of transportation for visitors. 

Uber

Positives:

1. Cheap… when compared to taxis. In some cases, it is almost half the cost.
2. No cash. Payments are set up in the Uber app. 
3. Clean. Uber has high standards when it comes to the age and condition of their driver’s vehicles.
4. Accountability. Drivers and passengers rate each other, out of 5 stars, at the end of each trip. There is also a place to leave comments.
5. Safety. To date, we have used Uber 79 times in about five weeks and have never felt unsafe with a driver.
6. Customer Service. You can use the app to dispute charges or ask questions. 

Negatives:

1. Unpredictable. I think because we are using an “app” we expect an immediate response. Once we “call” a driver, it may take anywhere from 1-10 minutes for them to arrive.
2. Technology. Since transactions are through an app, cellular data services are mandatory. A few times we could not connect to the app due to a lack of cellular service, and therefore could not call for an Uber.
3. (Sometimes) unavailable. Twice, when we traveled outside of San Jose, there were no nearby Uber drivers available.
4. Not always as knowledgeable as taxi drivers. Costa Ricans do not use physical addresses, and if a driver does not know the area of the destination very well, it's easy to get lost. In our 79 Uber uses, we had a driver get lost once and we had to be dropped off at a gas station close to our destination instead.  

Taxis

Positives:

1. Convenient. It is almost impossible to go 500 meters without seeing a red taxi (red taxis with a yellow triangle on the side are licensed taxis in Costa Rica).
2. Knowledgable. Taxi drivers know the city. Since Costa Rica does not use addresses, we can only give landmarks or the name of our hotel, but taxis always know how to get us where we need to go.

Negatives:

1. Crapshoot on quality of the ride. We have had everything from a brand new car with a wonderfully kind driver to a jalopy with a driver that seemed to be angry we ruined his day by requesting his services. 
2. No accountability. Unlike Uber, taxi drivers are not held accountable by a rating system. Again, on more than one occasion we have been driven by rude, aggressive drivers.
3. Transactions. Whether you pay with cash or credit cards, there is always a transaction at the end of your trip. 

Bus

I do not have much to say about using buses, other than to say it is very confusing for visitors. While it is the cheapest mode of transportation, it is slow (lots of stops) and most of the time you will have to use 2-3 buses to get to your destination.

Rental Car

We did not use a rental car. However if I were to make this trip over again, I would have rented a car. After 1-2 weeks, I was comfortable to drive myself. 

As you can read, I highly recommend using Uber. It only takes 5-10 minutes to download the app and set up your account. Unfortunately, not everyone in Costa Rica is happy about Uber. Read the article here.

Costa Rica Travel Tips: Money (Nathan)

After living in Costa Rica for two months, we have found some helpful tools and tips. While I will be sharing about our time in Costa Rica, many of these tips can be used in other countries. (My last Travel Tip post was about Travel Apps.)

Currency

As with any other destination, we never exchange money at the airport. The best places to exchange are banks, which are everywhere in San Jose. The major, state-owned banks are Banco Nacional de Costa Rica, Banco de Costa Rica, and Bancrédito. The major, privately owned, banks are Scotiabank, BAC San Jose, and Citibank. ATM’s are available as well, but fees at both the drawing bank and the bank at home will apply.

We have found the most convenient place to exchange money is at the malls. I will choose the bank with the shortest line, which is typically the privately owned banks. My favorite is Scotiabank. Scotiabank uses the line system for waiting, similar to most U.S. banks. State-owned banks use a number system - take a number, sit in the lobby and wait - which takes more time. Another major plus is that Scotiabank, and other privately owned banks, typically have bilingual staff. Here is some information about exchanging money:

• Costa Rican currency is a colon (plural: colones).
• The colorful colon bills come in 1000, 2000, 5000, 10,000, and 20,000 mil.
• The rate is currently 532 colones for $1 U.S. Dollar.
• It has been easiest for us to exchange $300-$500 at a time.
• Bring your passport, not a photocopy.
• Be prepared to give a CR phone number and the address of where you are staying. (Note: they will not always ask for this information, but sometimes do.)

Cash vs. Credit Card

If you do not like to carry a large bundle of cash, then using a credit card may be your best option. Most places, even taxis, will accept credit cards. However, you will want to bring some cash with you just in case. 

The downside of using credit cards is that you may receive an international fee for each charge. The travel cards that I use (American Express, American Advantage, and Mileage Plus) do not charge an international fee.

Cost of Living

We have found living in Costa Rica is about 30% more expensive than the U.S. Food and clothes, especially, are more expensive in CR than the U.S., which is a bummer as our girls only brought a few outfits with them from their orphanage. We wanted to bring clothes for our daughters, but it was hard to learn their sizes before we traveled. So, we have bought a few outfits for them here and will purchase the majority of their clothes back in the U.S.

It may be more cost effective to book a suite and cook meals in the room rather than eating out. Bringing toiletries from the U.S. saves money as well. And don't forget to add sunscreen and bug spray to your list. 

How to quickly calculate the Costa Rican Colon into U.S. Dollar

When shopping at stores and markets, there is a quick way to calculate colones into dollars. Let’s say you want to buy a shirt for 10,000 colones. You will double the cost (20,000) and knock off a zero which makes it $20.00. So, if you wanted to buy a soccer jersey of your favorite CR team for 45,000 colones, that will equal $90 US. Or, if you wanted to purchase a gift for 12,000 colones it would be $24 US.

What tips do you have for exchanging money or making purchases in Costa Rica or other countries? 

Travel Tips: Phone Apps

After living in Costa Rica for two months, we have found some helpful tools and tips. I (Nathan) will begin a series of posts that highlight what we have used and learned. However, these tips can be used in other countries if you find yourself traveling abroad. Likewise, we hope that these tips will help future Lifeline Families who are adopting from Costa Rica.

Do not leave your smartphone at home, even if you decide not to get an international plan. Since Stacy and I are both here, we knew that it would not be necessary to get international data on both of our phones. We decided to put data on Stacy’s phone, which I will talk about international data plans in a later post. Everything that I list below can be used without data.

Maps.Me is my most used travel app and here is why:

• Maps of countries and regions can be downloaded and used while offline. When traveling, you don't want to draw attention to yourself. Looking at a map on your phone is more discreet than pulling out a paper map.
• The route planning function gives you turn-by-turn directions.
• Save your favorite places by "pinning" them on your map. 
• The app is fast and reliable. We use Uber for our transportation needs. Usually, I open the Maps.Me app to follow the driver’s route. On more than one occasion, a driver has lost cellular service and so we finished the route using my Maps.me app. 

Uber is like a taxi, but much better for several reasons. I will share about transportation in a future post, but for now, the Uber app is a necessity.

Google Translate is even better now that you can use the app offline. There are multiple ways to input words and phrases such as typing, speaking, and taking photos of words and phrases to be translated. Once translated, you can turn your phone sideways to see the translation on the full screen. Which allows the person you are speaking with to read the words rather than trying to sound out the words yourself.

Currency is the app I am using, as of now, to check rates. I am always looking to find a better app, but for now, it works.

WhatsApp is not as common in the States, at least in my area of the country. From Costa Rica to Italy, all my friends are using Whats App. The app is much like the iPhone’s iMessage. You can use it to text, send voice messages, pictures, etc. You can communicate with your friend’s via your cell phone number. However, you do not need data to use it.

Trip Advisor is the app to use when traveling domestic and international. Many hotels and restaurants use the app abroad to attract visitors. The app has all the info you need and wants for a restaurant or hotel.

TripIt has been a long time travel tool for me. An annual subscription is available to use the app to its fullest. However, the free portion of the app is still useful. TripIt keeps track of your flight itinerary as well as hotel confirmations. Simply forward your email confirmation to TripIt and they will automatically organize your itinerary.

What are your favorite travel apps? I am always on the look-out for new and helpful apps.